A Study


Summary: Justin's POV, late season 4
Author's Notes: All crimes against the English Language are solely my fault. Characters don't belong to me; I'm just having fun with them. Cheating a bit since I wrote this back in January, but it fit the challenge. Enjoy!

study noun (pl. studies) 1 the devotion of time and attention to acquiring knowledge. 2 a detailed investigation and analysis of a subject or situation. 3 a piece of work done for practice or as an experiment. >verb (studies, studied) 1 acquire knowledge on. 2 make a study of. 3 look at closely in order to observe or read. 4 [studied] done with deliberate and careful effort.


He knows you watch him, but youíre sure he has no idea how closely. Heís seen you drawn him thousands, maybe millions of times, but you donít think he knows that youíve filed it all away. That you have every inch of him committed to memory isnít even hyperbole at this point.

For instance, you know exactly how deep the slight cleft in his chin is. The way the skin fits over the bones of his hands and feet amaze you. There is the faintest of scars on his left shoulder blade that you donít dare mention and the darker, thicker one on his abdomen that you just donít talk about. You could pick the exact shade of brown to match the color of his nipples, easily. You adore the dimples in his lower back, just above his ass, and that it drives him wild when you lick the one on the right.

Like a film in your head you can see the way he takes the first draw off a cigarette or joint, the way the smoke just ebbs between his lips. You realize that only you know that the new ball doesnít exactly feel like the original, but you take a certain pride in that. You love his earlobes that are attached like yours. Even though you would never admit it out loud, for five seconds once you entertained the thought that your genetic children would also have attached earlobes because itís a recessive trait and thatís the only thing you remember from biology class.

You love the way his hair falls when heís looking down at you. The size of the white crescents in the beds of his fingernails, the way his hands wrap around the neck of a beer bottle, and the exact way his lips curve when he smiles at you, itís all embedded in your brain and if you went blind tomorrow, you know you could still draw him perfectly.

You also wonder how it will change. You think about what his eyes will look like when they start to have lines in the corners, and when and where the first streaks of gray will appear. He will still and always be perfect. You hope you will be there to study it.