I've been working on this one for a while, finally got it done. Yay! mojokitten
was kind enough to look it over for me. She is lovely. (And obviously, if there's
any remaining wackiness it's my own damn fault.)
314 gapfiller, but really just an excuse to write gratuitous toppy!Justin pr0n.
“Some asshole told me that if you believe in something strongly enough,” Brian’s voice went softer, “You have to be willing to sacrifice everything.”
That. The way that Justin looked at him, right then. Brian didn’t want to put a name to it, but he shivered slightly.
Brian felt Justin lined against his side, the wool of Justin’s coat rubbing against his shirt as they kissed.
Justin drew back, smiled a little, then kissed Brian again, lingering a while this time.
“That was some asshole, all right,” said Justin quietly. “What are you doing listening to some freak like that?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Brian shrugged. “I find that this particular asshole is very convincing.”
Justin shook his head. “Brian –“
“I wanted to,” Brian interrupted. “Justin. I wanted to. I believed in this. You didn’t talk me into anything that I didn’t agree with.”
“Okay,” Justin nodded. “Yeah, it’s just – yeah, I know.”
“Good,” said Brian.
They lay next to each other for several minutes, staring at the ceiling. Brian wondered why they’d never done that before.
“Hey,” said Brian, “The ceiling’s really interesting. Good angles.”
Justin laughed sharply and then kissed him on the cheek. “Brian? You don’t have a TV now. I’d imagine you’re going to be seeing a lot of the ceiling, from sheer boredom.”
It came upon Brian quite suddenly, a quick flash of heat that sent his arms tingling, made him hard. He wanted.
“Yeah,” he said hoarsely, “The ceiling.”
Justin just looked at him blankly, so Brian tugged his head closer and started biting at his lips. After a split-second hesitation, Justin ignored his bites and just dove in, sticking his tongue past Brian’s teeth and lapping wetly at the roof of his mouth.
“Mm,” Justin said when he got a breath. “Wanna fuck?”
“Yeah,” Brian said, and laughed slightly, because obviously. But –
“Yeah,” Brian said again, and pulled at Justin’s arms until Justin took the hint and rolled enough to lie on top of him. Justin opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was, Justin fell silent as soon as Brian slowly spread his legs apart. “This,” said Brian, and he couldn’t say anything else. Justin understood.
“Okay,” said Justin, acting very nonchalant, but Brian felt Justin’s dick harden even more against his hip, and had to chuckle. His world might have been rapidly disintegrating around him, but he could still count on Justin getting hard for him.
And other things, too.
Justin nestled his legs between Brian’s, and sat up enough to get his coat off. “Let me –“ Brian shut up and reached out, pushing Justin’s shirt up over his chest, lightly running his fingertips over Justin’s nipples. Justin made a small noise and tore his shirt off over his head, and yanked Brian’s off too.
“Brian,” said Justin. “Fuck, get these...” He unbuttoned Brian’s jeans quickly, and left Brian to take them off while he rid himself of his shoes and pants.
He turned back to Brian, pulling his feet up on the bed, and stopped. “God,” Justin said. “You’re beautiful.”
“I –“ Brian didn’t finish.
Justin pressed against Brian, kissing him again. “You want me inside you,” he murmured. “Do you know how fucking hot that makes me?”
“Yes,” said Brian, smirking slightly. “I do.”
Justin laughed and swatted at his arm, and Brian leaned back, taking his first deep breath in minutes, a slight rasp of a sound. Justin looked down at him, face suddenly impassive, a million things going on behind his eyes. Brian pressed his lips together and waited for Justin’s thoughts to settle. The little fucker analyzed everything.
Justin held up a condom, and Brian had no idea when he’d managed to grab one, but it really didn’t matter, did it? He tried not to groan, but he really needed something, fucking now, hands or cock or mouth or -
Justin kissed him again and slid his hand under one of Brian’s legs. “I’m going to get you ready,” he said quietly, “Are you okay with your legs over my shoulders?”
“I’m not that old, Sunshine,” said Brian, but he could already feel a tingling burn in the stretch of his thigh. Fuck. Whatever. With his leg over Justin’s shoulder, he felt suddenly drawn out, exposed, and he tried to remember if Justin had ever fucked him face-to-face before. Maybe. Maybe once, a long time ago, when he was really stoned.
Justin flipped open the lube and pressed a couple of wet fingers into Brian’s ass, making him ache with the pressure. Shit, he felt too tight. Justin’s brows furrowed and he twisted his hand, loosening Brian up, and Brian didn’t even know he had wanted ‘slow’ until he felt the slick grind of Justin’s knuckles. Shit. He didn’t have a job anymore – so couldn’t they do this all day?
Justin leaned his head against Brian’s stretched knee, deep in concentration. He added another finger to Brian’s ass, and some more lube. Brian could feel Justin’s fingertips stroking softly inside him, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “I feel you,” he grit out, his teeth clenched. “I want to – give me more.”
Justin looked up at his face. “You sure?”
“Yeah,” said Brian. “It’s just been a while.”
Justin twisted another finger into him, slowly, and Brian almost arched off the bed. Fuck. It was too much, it hurt, it really –
Brian gasped. “Keep...going.”
“No,” said Justin. “It’s hurting you.”
“Then just – keep them there,” he said. “Let me...”
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” said Justin.
“Since when do you give up so easily?” said Brian.
“When it’s –“ Justin cut himself off, and kissed Brian’s knee. “Okay. You okay?”
Was Brian okay?
He felt shaky and unfocused. He felt like he’d just put himself very, very deep in debt for no decent reason. He felt like he was fucking doomed. Brian was not okay.
But Justin’s fingers in his ass? That part was okay. Brian took a few deep breaths and relaxed, unlocking his joints and muscles, even though it made him feel more jittery.
“Yeah,” Brian said. “I’m good. Ready.”
Justin moved his fingers apart a little, testing him, and Brian shivered. Then the fingers withdrew altogether, and he groaned, and said “You’d better be replacing that with something else, Sun – shuhh. “
Justin gathered Brian’s other leg onto his shoulder and slid into him, bending his legs closer to his chest with the thrust. Oh, fuck, fuck - Brian took another deep breath and the pain went away a little. He’d been asking for this. He wasn’t going to be a fucking pansy about it.
“You’re –“ Justin gasped, eyes squeezed shut. “Shit.”
“I sincerely hope not,” Brian grunted.
Justin laughed faintly and kissed him on the collarbone. “Okay?”
Brian really, really wished Justin would shut up and stop asking him that. It made him stop, made him think, and - He was fucked up to the brim. Fuck. Broken in half with this ache, this being-filled ache. It was intense. Brian was beginning to rethink asking to be fucked. He couldn’t deal with this. Couldn’t -
He looked at Justin closely, and Justin met his gaze.
Brian nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I am. I am. I’m fine.”
Justin didn’t look convinced, but he slowly thrust again, and Brian moaned before he even felt the sharp pleasure jolt through him. Doubts aside, this was better. By the time Justin was done, he wouldn’t feel like such a tense virgin ass.
“Would this be a bad time to say I’m proud of you?” Justin panted.
Brian stared at him in shock for a moment, then started to laugh. “There could be worse times,” he said.
Justin glared, and pressed a kiss to his neck. “Stop laughing,” he warned. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this.”
“Afraid you’ve forgotten how?”
Justin smirked at him. “Forget all the times Brian Kinney has offered me his ass on a platter? Not a chance.”
Brian tried to glare, tried not to squirm and press up around Justin’s dick. “First of all – platter. No. Second, how many times are we talking about here? Four?”
“At least five,” said Justin, “Don’t tell me you don’t remember that time with the kitchen sink.”
Brian’s cock twitched. “I was counting that one,” he said.
Justin grinned, but it faded quickly to a faint smile. He cupped Brian’s cheek. “I’m going to fuck you,” he said slowly. “I’m going to fuck you for a long time. I have to enjoy this moment while it lasts, you know.”
Brian snorted, ashamed of how shaky his voice sounded when he said, “Lofty goals. Then get to it.”
Justin gripped Brian’s legs tighter, and squeezed his eyes shut. He was sweating, Brian noticed. Justin usually wasn’t much of a sweater, but moisture was beaded on his forehead, on the tip of his nose. His eyelashes were plastered together.
He looked amazing.
Justin thrust into him hard, nerves along Brian’s spine started humming, and Brian crumpled against him like tissue paper.
“Brian?” Justin sounded worried, but he didn’t ask if Brian was okay, which was good because Brian might have had to strangle him.
Justin drew out and thrust again, too slowly. Way too slowly.
“Keep going,” Brian choked out. “Until I fucking tell you to stop. Got it?”
Justin didn’t say anything, just thrust again, and it was suddenly smoother – suddenly easier – and Justin slid in further, all the way in.
Brian’s head snapped back, his neck stretched taut. Holy - He was not going to come. Not yet. But Justin was in him, and on him, and the friction of their bodies together, Justin all bright eyes and wet skin and salt and musk and grasping...
Justin whimpered – Brian was going to hold that one over him for weeks – and his fingers clutched at Brian’s legs. Brian’s awareness stuttered for a moment, his vision blurring.
“Fine –“ he moaned. “I’m fine,” and Justin made a chuffing noise.
“I didn’t ask,” he said, and gasped on another in-thrust. “But fuck – I’m not going to last. Brian. Sorry. Brian, I’m not –“
“Okay,” Brian groaned. “It’s okay.”
Justin bent closer, trying to reach Brian’s mouth, and only managed to lick his cheek. Brian bit his lip, trying to distract himself from the rocking of his and Justin’s bodies, from the shocks of ecstasy that kept shooting through his muscles.
“Oh! Oh. Oh, fuck,” Justin moaned.
Brian’s limbs started to tremble from suppressed motion. He dug his fingers into the mattress beneath him.
Justin gasped, and gasped again, and grabbed at Brian’s cock. As soon as Brian felt Justin’s strong, sticky fingers wrapping around him, he knew orgasm was close at – hand. No pun intend -
Justin somehow managed to thrust in at a slightly different angle, sending a jolt through Brian, and Brian’s thoughts scattered completely. He felt his eyes trying to roll back, but he fixed his gaze on Justin’s face. Justin was already looking back at him.
Brian’s blood felt like it was pinched off from flow, and his breath was caught in his chest. He was poised perfectly on the edge of something, his muscles tensed in anticipation. Justin’s hand stroked his cock and OhJesus it was like a letting-loose.
A rush of sensation and he was coming hard, his ears buzzing, his feet and hands tingling – Justin groaned against him, jerking helplessly. Pulsing in his ass. Fuck. Talk about perfect timing.
Justin sagged and let Brian’s legs slip off his shoulders. There was a twinge of discomfort, and Justin withdrew from his ass, stripping off the soiled condom. Brian sighed and shifted away a little, feeling sore and drained. His skin was over-sensitive, and it was strange after how close they’d been a moment before, but Brian didn’t really think he could take Justin touching him. Not right then.
It might have been mutual, though, because after he’d thrown the condom away, Justin sank back down on the bed several inches away from Brian, not touching him at all. Justin made a mumbly noise and threw his hand up over his eyes. “Fuck,” he said under his breath, “fuck. Fuck.”
Brian really didn’t have anything to add to that. In fact, he really wasn’t sure his brain was still operational.
After a few minutes silence, Justin added, “Yeah. Very proud.” He grunted and raised up on his elbows so he could see Brian’s face. “And,” he said quietly, “Even if, God forbid, Stockwell still wins? I’ll still be proud of you. Not many people would do what you did.”
Brian looked bemused. “Wait. Are we still on this conversation? ...after that?” He yawned on the last word, and blinked hard.
Justin gave him a look. “Brian. The fucking was part of the conversation.”
Huh. Maybe it was.
Brian was still a step or two behind, though, thinking about what Justin had just said. “But if Stockwell does win, we’re all royally fucked.”
Justin started to smirk. “Like you?”
Brian batted at him lazily, but Justin leaned out of the way, letting out something that sounded way too much like a cackle, then quickly tackled him, holding Brian’s arms against the bed. Brian raised an eyebrow at him. He’d forgotten how much energy Justin generally still had after topping. Brian wouldn’t be able to move even if Justin weren’t holding him down.
Justin pressed his body against Brian’s, and then slid down until he was level with Brian’s stomach. He licked at the semen spatters around Brian’s navel and up toward his chest, not trying to clean off every bit, just taste him. Brian moaned slightly at the feeling of Justin’s mouth, and the moist, warm swipes of his tongue.
“Mmm,” said Justin. “I love you.”
Brian closed his eyes and tried to find traces of his earlier nervousness and apprehension. Nothing. Just some general fuzziness from the fuck, and... contentment. Or something that felt a lot like it.
Justin didn’t say anything else, and didn’t continue with the licking. Brian’s eyes snapped open, suddenly alert, and he looked down at Justin, thinking I’ve fucked up again -
But Justin’s eyes didn’t look resentful, just soft and considering. And maybe a bit scared. “God. I love you so fucking much,” Justin said.
“Justin,” said Brian, and relaxed again. “C’mere.”
Justin smiled and scootched up, lying against Brian’s side, almost exactly like he had been earlier. Brian looked him in the face. Justin blinked at him, and Brian wondered when exactly it was that Justin had started to look like a grown man. The persistent innocent look was gone from his face, and the youthful roundness too. Had it happened when Justin was with Ethan? Or – even before?
Brian decided he didn’t miss it. He wanted this, he wanted what he had now. He wanted it so much he couldn’t imagine not.
He wanted Justin.
“It’s not just you,” Brian whispered urgently, before he could second-guess the terms and the sentiment and all that other bullshit. “Not just you.”
Justin’s eyes went completely blank.
Brian swallowed, all too aware of the slight echo of the loft, and the sounds of Justin’s breathing - and the lack of his own. He inhaled. Waited.
It was only a few seconds, at the most, but Brian felt it drag out long. As realization struck and words connected, Justin squinted, his mouth started to tug upwards at the corners, and his hand tightened ever so slightly on Brian’s stomach. Brian breathed again.
Justin shook his head. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he said, and he sounded amused. “Fuck you,” and Justin added, “Anyway, I knew that already.”
Brian snorted, feeling absurdly giddy with relief. He poked Justin in the side. “Yeah?” Poked him again. “Yeah? I don’t think you did. Fuck you, I am fucking inscrutable. Shut up.”
Justin laughed incredulously. “Oh my god, you’re crazy.”
“Possession withdrawal? Remember? Of course I’m going insane.” Brian swore he could not stop smiling.
Justin snorted. “A likely excuse.”
“The couch is gone, Justin.” With some difficulty, Brian put on an utterly serious expression. “We can no longer fuck on the couch.”
Justin let out a theatrical gasp and brought his hand to his mouth. “And the dining room table is gone, too!”
“Exactly!” Brian laughed into Justin’s neck, curling an arm over Justin’s waist. “Now you’re getting it,” he said. Then more quietly, “Oh fuck.”
Justin nuzzled his forehead, knowing that as Brian calmed down, it was all starting to sink in again, debt and heroic measures alike. “Hmm. Things’ll work out, Rage. Or should I say, ‘Concerned Citizens for the Truth’. It’ll all work out.”
“You don’t know that,” said Brian.
“Nope!” said Justin brightly. “I’m talking out of my ass. But it’s a very nice ass, so you still have a good chance.”
“Gonna leave me for someone less broke? The days of being your sugar daddy may very well be over.”
Justin hit him really hard in the arm - ow - and shook his head. “I already tried leaving you for someone more broke, and see how that turned out. You’re stuck with me.”
“Haha,” Brian said flatly. “Funny.”
“Seriously,” said Justin. “I mean –“ He kissed Brian’s forehead, said softly, “We’re partners, right? This time around?”
Brian raised his head and met Justin’s lips. Justin kissed him back, and it was like - It was like...
Brian dropped his head back onto the pillow and stared up at Justin.
He knew what it was like. Partners.