This is short, silly fic written for on_to_us, because they (well, one of them, anyway) gave me a paid account. E requested that Justin be teased with a pickle. The idea spawned into something so much more. Well, not really. But here it is. Warning: Michael is an asshole, and Brian and Justin are schmoopy.

Oh, and if Michael seemed overly whiny and bratty in this fic, well...that's because he is. When it comes to Justin, at least. I love the B/M friendship, but around Justin, Michael is an asshole of the highest order.

Feedback is adored. But please be nice to me. *wibbles* <3

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Okay, I have a confession to make. Here goes.

I hated it when Brian and Justin were apart.

I know, I know, after everything I said – and that I still stand by – about Justin being bad for Brian, and Justin needing to move on with his life, and Brian needing to forget about that little blond twink – it seems a bit hypocritical of me, I guess. But without Justin, Brian was a fucking mess. Drinking and sucking and fucking until four or five in the morning every day. It was like the summer after Justin got bashed. And when he wasn’t drinking or sucking or fucking, he was...bored. It was pathetic! It was like his life was so empty, now that his little Sunshine had left him. He was hanging around my apartment a lot, hitting the gym more than he used to – even having civilized conversations with Ted. Then he bought his new Corvette, but that didn’t really seem to help anything. Jesus, I was mad at him. He was finally without Justin, and all he could do was fucking mope?

And it wasn’t that I wanted them to get back together or anything – but, God, just move on with their lives, you know? Once I even suggested to him, maybe he should find another boyfriend. Like, a relationship. He looked at me as if I had just had sex with a goat or something. But Brian can’t fool me – I know he was lonely. He needed to get over Justin.

Well, one day I thought salvation had come. Brian phoned me during his lunch break at work.

“Guess who Vanguard’s latest intern is?” he practically growled.

I was doing inventory at the store and not really paying attention. “I don’t know, who?”

“Fucking JUSTIN,” he said, and I nearly leapt out of my chair.

“No. Shit,” I said slowly. “Justin is interning? But...how is that even possible? Don’t they know that you and he--”

“I don’t fucking know. Fuck!” he said, and disconnected. I blinked at my phone for a second, but shrugged it off. Maybe someone came into his office and he had to go. Maybe Justin came into his office. I revelled in that thought a little. Justin would come in, they could duke it out, Brian would fucking fire his ass, and then things would be back to normal once Justin stopped hanging around and Brian woke up and smelled the roses. This intern thing was just the solution to their problems.

I didn’t hear anything about it after that for a couple days and I figured everything was okay. I was so busy working at the store that week I barely saw anyone, so I was pretty happy when Saturday arrived. Ben and I went to lunch at the diner and we were just hanging out, talking, cuddling a little – nice Saturday activities – which is when the diner door swung open and out of habit I turned to see who it was.

Justin. I rolled my eyes and was about to go back to talking to Ben, but then I noticed something a bit...different. Lately, Justin had been wearing a lot more grown-up clothes...nice slacks and turtlenecks and that sort of thing. I figured it was Ethan’s influence. But today, Justin was wearing his good old cargoes and beat-up sneakers. He looked about twelve and he was smiling. He held the door open for someone coming in behind him.



He walked in the door, grabbed Justin, kissed him like they were fucking Scarlett and Rhett, and together they made their happy way over to a booth, swaggering as if they owned the place.

Fuck me.

I just stared, my mouth hanging open. They were both smiling and had their arms around each other and Justin was fucking glowing. And for that matter, Brian was too! Christ, I couldn’t believe it! Brian tossed off his jacket as they sat down. Underneath was a white wifebeater, a sure sign that today was devoted to relaxing. They cuddled in their booth and as Justin looked at the menu, Brian lit up a cigarette and just looked around idly like this was perfectly normal Saturday behaviour for him.

They had the whole diner’s attention by now, and they didn’t really seem to care. Justin plucked away Brian’s cigarette and took a drag and then popped it back in Brian’s mouth, and they fucking giggled. Giggled! And then Brian took out the cigarette and they shared a smoky kiss that seemed to go on forever.

I was still staring. Beside me, Ben just chuckled quietly into his coffee cup.

“Do you see that?” I demanded.

“Uh huh,” Ben said. He turned the page in the newspaper. “Hey, the new Spielberg movie came out. Do you want to go see it?”

“I don’t believe this. How did Justin manage to get Brian to take him back this time? Get down on his knees and beg?”

Ben just looked at me. “Maybe that’s their business, Michael,” he said, but I didn’t want to listen to logic. I marched right over to Brian and Justin’s booth, sat down across from them, and waited.

Brian raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?” His hand came up and started playing in Justin’s hair, just trailing his fingers through it lazily and Justin smiled at him. I thought I was going to puke.

So I levelled him my best angry glare and said to Justin, “Where’s Violin Boy, off playing on a streetcorner?”

Justin gave me a glare of his own and opened his mouth, but Brian thwapped him upside the head and said, “Lay off, Michael.”

They started at their schmoopy couply stuff again. Sharing Brian’s cigarette and practically molesting each other right in the fucking booth. When Justin went to pour sugar in his coffee Brian did it for him, and then Justin licked the extra sugar off his fingers and they laughed. Well, that did it.

“So, I guess Ethan is out of the picture,” I said, dryly.

“Yeah, Ian had to run along,” Brian drawled, still stroking Justin’s hair. And then he looked at Justin and smiled - fuck, just this really happy smile. I hadn’t seen a smile like that in a long time. “Lucky for me,” he continued, and then he kissed the tip of Justin’s nose.


“So, how’s interning going?” I asked, in probably not my nicest tone of voice, but Justin didn’t have time for a snarky reply because the waitress came over to take their orders. Justin ordered typical Justin food – hamburger, fries, Coke. I expected Brian to get a salad or something but that’s when he surprised me again – he got a club sandwich. On white bread, even. With chips! That kind of indulgence in fat and carbs only ever happened when he was feeling really depressed. Or really, really happy.

Mom came over with Brian and Justin’s food. It wasn’t her table, but she was probably dying to get a good look at the Wonder Couple. “Hey, guys,” she beamed, and cracked her gum. She was positively leering.

I rolled my eyes.

Mom handed them their plates and Brian finally detangled himself from Justin. His arms, at least. Underneath the table I thought I felt something brush my foot, but it could have been my imagination.

“Thanks, Deb,” Justin said, and started eating. When Mom didn’t leave and just stood there tapping her foot impatiently, he looked up from his food and said, “What?” with his mouth full of hamburger.

“Don’t give me that bullshit innocent look, I demand some answers,” Mom exclaimed. “Like where the fuck is Ethan?”

Brian and Justin exchanged glances. Then there was a pause in the conversation as Brian gave Justin a disgusted look and wiped his mouth for him with a napkin. Finally he looked at Mom. “Justin realized he missed my cock too much,” he said. “Ethan’s just couldn’t compare.”

Mom pretended to be annoyed, but I could tell she was happy. She said, “Well, I hope you can get your hands out of your pants long enough to eat,” and went back to work. Jesus Christ, didn’t anyone care that Brian and Justin were back together – back to fucking up royally once again?

Apparently not. Ben was still by the counter, talking to Mom and reading the paper, and even the biggest gossip queens in the diner had lost interest. Probably disappointed that Brian actually had to eat and was therefore human.

“So, how are things going at the store, Mikey?” Brian said, taking a big bite out of his sandwich. I looked at him suspiciously and he just gave me a little ‘who, me?’ smile. Fucker. I loved that smile.

“Fine. Hey, I’m getting a lot of questions about issue two,” I told Justin. “I was thinking about Ice-Tina. Maybe she should be on the cover, what do you think? People seem to have a lot of interest in other things besides the Rage and JT storyline, not that there’s anything wrong with that...”

I felt something brush against my foot again under the table. Justin took a sip of his Coke and nodded. "That's a possibility," he said.

“I think JT should be on the cover giving Rage a blowjob,” Brian offered helpfully.

I rolled my eyes at him and kept talking to Justin about the comic. Possible storylines for the third issue, the demise of Ice-Tina, the introduction of another young character – JT’s best friend, maybe? – Zephyr’s character development. And, Christ, I don’t think either of them were listening to me. Justin kept stroking Brian’s arm and sort of absently picking at his food as he watched Brian consume his fat-laden meal happily. Brian finished his sandwich and then picked up his pickle and looked at it, kind of speculatively.

“I like pickles,” Justin said, out of nowhere.

Brian looked at him. “Oh yeah?”

I didn’t know what the fuck they were going on about, so I kept talking. About anything. Anything to distract myself from the fact that Brian had the pickle and was running it around Justin’s mouth. Just touching him lightly, tracing the contours of his lips with it. Justin’s tongue kept darting out to taste it and Brian kept pulling it back, teasing him. Then he dipped it inside Justin’s mouth and he took a big bite, chomping away with this shit-eating grin. Brian said, “Ow!” and they snickered like a pair of thirteen-year-olds.

Jesus Christ, it was enough to make me blush. Brian and Justin were in their own little universe, I think. Justin had the pickle now and was feeding it to Brian. Brian would take a little bite, stop to kiss Justin lightly, and then take another bite. Their eyes remained locked on one another. The way Brian just kept kissing him, like he couldn’t get enough of him, like it was physically impossible for him to stop touching Justin – Christ, I barely even recognized him. His face was brighter; he looked relaxed, sure of himself. Happy. It was bizarre to see Brian happy. Just because of that little blond kid.

“So, what do you think about the Zephyr thing?” I asked Justin, trying to get his attention back on track. Jesus, I wanted to have a fucking conversation with him, not watch him make out with his boyfriend!

Justin just said, “Uh huh,” absently. Brian finished the pickle and sucked on Justin's fingers for a moment, then grabbed him and kissed him hard. As I tried not to vomit, Brian’s elbow hit a fork and it fell to the floor.

“Mikey, would you mind picking that up?” he said. He went back to kissing Justin.

I bent it get it for him. “So, do you guys want to go to Babylon tonight?” I was saying as I came back up. I looked at them expectantly.

It took me a minute to register that Brian and Justin were gone.

I blinked stupidly, then looked around. Only to see the fuckers actually hightailing it out the restaurant, laughing and holding hands. Christ!

“Guys?” I called after them, not quite believing this. “Guys?!”

The door slammed behind them. They didn’t spare me a second glance.

Fuck me.